Someone has startled you. What it something they said or did? Did you feel the shot of adrenaline through your body? Your heart beat pick up? Did you catch your emotions as they rose up? The shock, the fear, the anger? Where are you feeling it in your body? The pit of your stomach? The tension in your shoulders?
When this happens, before we know it we have reacted: we may have fled the scene, or we may have shouted, or we may have blamed someone.
Better to become aware of this as it happens and pause if you can – take a breath, centre yourself and turn to gaze gently at the person. Calmly ask a question to discover whether the impact on you is what was intended. Most often it is not, and it is better to seek clarification before reacting.